Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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