He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
