if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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