So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
