I think my vagina is haunted
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
