So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
