Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I see more hoeing in ur future
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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