1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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