that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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