I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
