what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
