I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am naked and annoyed.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
