Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
