Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
