Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
