I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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