Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
