seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
