the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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