I'm jealous of your bromance
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
