She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
