I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
