It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
