I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
