i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
