Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
