I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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