we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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