My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
