I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
