woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
