I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize