Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
