i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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