dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
