Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
