When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
