Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
