And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck appropriateness.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
