tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
