her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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