oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize