there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
