the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
