we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
