i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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