Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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