I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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