if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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