She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
