I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
