Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
