I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I want to have your abortion
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
