I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
