wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
