38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
