She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
