When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
