dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
