Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
