Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
