can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
